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Just a funny...

Stumpy McDugal

Cracker OG
Staff member
3KDQYzV.jpg
 

ROOT

Administrator
Staff member
Fine, they can pick the drapes and furniture , but when they take in a and conceive a Tennant every other person shall insure that the female reproductive system provides the innocent tennant a safe home until the end of the lease.
If they do not want freeloaders taking residency they should lock the playhouse down.
 

KathyInAR

Founder
Staff member
❗My husband and I went through the McDonald's driveway window and I gave the cashier a $5 bill.
Our total was $4.25, so I also handed her 25c.
She said, 'you gave me too much money.'
I said, 'Yes I know, but this way you can just give me a dollar back.'
She sighed and went to get the manager who asked me to repeat my request.
I did so, and he handed me back the 25c, and said 'We're sorry but we don’t do that kind of thing.'
The cashier then proceeded to give me back 75 cents in change.
Do not confuse the people at MacD's.

❗We had to have the garage door repaired.
The repairman told us that one of our problems was that we did not have a 'large' enough motor on the opener.
I thought for a minute, and said that we had the largest one made at that time, a 1/2 horsepower.
He shook his head and said, 'You need a 1/4 horsepower.'
I responded that 1/2 was larger than 1/4 and he said, 'NOOO, it's not. Four is larger than two.'
We haven't used that repairman since...

❗I live in a semi rural area.
We recently had a new neighbor call the local city council office to request the removal of the DEER CROSSING sign on our road.
The reason: 'Too many deers are being hit by cars out here! I don't think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore.'

❗ My daughter went to a Mexican fast food and ordered a taco.
She asked the person behind the counter for 'minimal lettuce.'
He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg lettuce.

❗ I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked,
'Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?'
To which I replied, 'If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?'
He smiled knowingly and nodded, 'That's why we ask.'

❗ The pedestrian light on the corner beeps when it's safe to cross the street.
I was crossing with an 'intellectually challenged' co-worker of mine.
She asked if I knew what the beeper was for.
I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red.
Appalled, she responded, 'what on earth are blind people doing driving?!'
She is a government employee.....

❗ When my wife and I arrived at a car dealership to pick up our car after a service, we were told the keys had been locked in it.
We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver’s side door.
As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked.
‘Hey,' I announced to the technician, 'its open!'
His reply, 'I know. I already did that side.'

STAY ALERT!
They walk among us, they breed, and they vote…....
 

ROOT

Administrator
Staff member
❗My husband and I went through the McDonald's driveway window and I gave the cashier a $5 bill.
Our total was $4.25, so I also handed her 25c.
She said, 'you gave me too much money.'
I said, 'Yes I know, but this way you can just give me a dollar back.'
She sighed and went to get the manager who asked me to repeat my request.
I did so, and he handed me back the 25c, and said 'We're sorry but we don’t do that kind of thing.'
The cashier then proceeded to give me back 75 cents in change.
Do not confuse the people at MacD's.

❗We had to have the garage door repaired.
The repairman told us that one of our problems was that we did not have a 'large' enough motor on the opener.
I thought for a minute, and said that we had the largest one made at that time, a 1/2 horsepower.
He shook his head and said, 'You need a 1/4 horsepower.'
I responded that 1/2 was larger than 1/4 and he said, 'NOOO, it's not. Four is larger than two.'
We haven't used that repairman since...

❗I live in a semi rural area.
We recently had a new neighbor call the local city council office to request the removal of the DEER CROSSING sign on our road.
The reason: 'Too many deers are being hit by cars out here! I don't think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore.'

❗ My daughter went to a Mexican fast food and ordered a taco.
She asked the person behind the counter for 'minimal lettuce.'
He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg lettuce.

❗ I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked,
'Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?'
To which I replied, 'If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?'
He smiled knowingly and nodded, 'That's why we ask.'

❗ The pedestrian light on the corner beeps when it's safe to cross the street.
I was crossing with an 'intellectually challenged' co-worker of mine.
She asked if I knew what the beeper was for.
I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red.
Appalled, she responded, 'what on earth are blind people doing driving?!'
She is a government employee.....

❗ When my wife and I arrived at a car dealership to pick up our car after a service, we were told the keys had been locked in it.
We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver’s side door.
As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked.
‘Hey,' I announced to the technician, 'its open!'
His reply, 'I know. I already did that side.'

STAY ALERT!
They walk among us, they breed, and they vote…....
I wish this was more funny than sad, because it's so true. I just had a similar change exchange last night with a $10.75 total and a $20 I was apprehensive about even offering the 3 quarters when she looked confused I just said let the cash register figure it out.
 

KathyInAR

Founder
Staff member
I wish this was more funny than sad, because it's so true. I just had a similar change exchange last night with a $10.75 total and a $20 I was apprehensive about even offering the 3 quarters when she looked confused I just said let the cash register figure it out.
I'll go you one better...I My favorite McDonald's breakfast is the Big Breakfast without hotcakes and substituting the biscuit with an English muffin and the sausage with Canadian bacon and a large diet coke at $5.44. Once they had a deal whereby you go online and answer survey questions about the hash brown and receive a $10 McDonald gift card. So, I did and got the gift card.

So, one day I ordered my favorite breakfast which cost $5.44. I presented the gift card and received it back with a balance of $4.56 on it. A few days later, I went back and ordered the same breakfast and presented the gift card and a $1 bill, expecting change back of 12¢...instead, the window person returned the gift card back to me with a balance of 12¢. To me, it seemed that the common sense move would have been to zero out the gift card and take the balance from the $1 bill. After picking up my order, I dropped the gift card with the 12¢ balance in the trash can.
 

KathyInAR

Founder
Staff member
I am sharing with all those who have posted here the past month, just as soon as I get my ATM card!

BC79025D-634F-401F-AAEA-27909BBF6F00.jpeg


Wonder how long it will take $4.5 million to come out of the ATM machine???
 
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