• PLEASE LOG IN TO VIEW MORE CONTENT AND PARTICIPAITE

Just a funny...

KathyInAR

Founder
Staff member
Especially for R2D2...

for r2d2.jpg
 

KathyInAR

Founder
Staff member
A school teacher was arrested today at John F. Kennedy International airport as he attempted to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a compass, an ancient wooden device called a "slide-rule," as well as a code device called an "abacus" that he claimed was a calculator.

At a morning press conference, the Attorney General said he believes the man is a member of the notorious Al-Gebra movement. He did not identify the man, who has been charged by the FBI with carrying weapons of math instruction.

"Al-Gebra is a problem for us," the Attorney General said. "Al-Gebra has terrorized many young people for years. They derive solutions by means and extremes and sometimes go off on tangents in search of absolute values”.

"They use secret code names like 'X' and 'Y' and refer to themselves as 'unknowns,' but we've determined that they belong to a common denominator of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country.”
"As the Greek philosopher Isosceles once said, 'There are 3 sides to every triangle.’ "

When asked to comment on the arrest, President Biden said, "If God had wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, he would have given us more fingers and toes”.
 

KathyInAR

Founder
Staff member

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—In a new plan designed to combat vaccine hesitancy, President Biden said that he was considering an executive order banning all covid vaccines.

The order would make it illegal to obtain a vaccine except in certain cases and, even then, only after a thorough background check and waiting period.

“We must eliminate the scourge of vaccination once and for all,” Biden said. “Enough is enough.”

News of an impending vaccine ban sent lines at previously deserted vaccination centers snaking around the block, according to reports.

Representative Marjorie Taylor Greene took to the floor of the House to excoriate the ban, calling it a “classic case of government overreach that shows the fingerprints of George Soros and the Rothschilds.”

“First, they came for my vaccines,” she warned.

The really sad thing is, it'd probably work...:y_sadtear:
 

KathyInAR

Founder
Staff member
I had a hard time deciding whether to post this in "Something Special ❤️" or "Musings and Pondings..." or here in, "Just a Funny"...I decided on here just because I laughed out loud when I saw it.

 

KathyInAR

Founder
Staff member


Hillbilly Moms Letter

Dear Son, I’m writing this slow ’cause I know you can’t read fast.

We don’t live where we did when you left.

Your dad read in the paper that most accidents happen within twenty miles of home, so we moved.

Won’t be able to send you the address as the last Arkansas family that lived here took the numbers with them for their house, so they wouldn’t have to change their address.

This place has a washing machine. The first day I put four shirts in it, pulled the chain and haven’t seen ’em since.

It only rained twice this week, three days the first time and four days the second time.

The coat you wanted me to send to you, Aunt Sue said it would be a little too heavy to send in the mail with them heavy buttons, so we cut them off and put them in the pockets.

We got a bill from the funeral home, and it said if we didn’t make the final payment on Grandma’s funeral bill, up she comes.

About your sister, she had a baby this morning. I haven’t found out whether if it is a boy or girls so dont know if you are an Aunt or Uncle???

Your Uncle John fell in the whiskey vat. Some men tried to get him out, but he fought them off playfully, so he drowned.

We cremated him and he burned for three days.

Three of your friends went off the bridge in a pickup.

One was driving and the other two were in the back. The driver got out. He rolled down the window and swam to safety.

The other 2 drowned. They couldn’t get the tailgate down.

Not much more news this time.

Nothing much happened. If you don’t get this letter, please let me know and I will send another one.

Love, Mom

 

KathyInAR

Founder
Staff member
This is circulating as a "true story"...I can't vouch for that, I have no idea...I actually rather doubt it...but it is certainly funny and worth sharing for the laugh...

74 Years Ago .


A little old lady from Geringong had worked in and around her family dairy farms since she was old enough to walk, with hours of hard work and little compensation.

When canned Carnation Milk became available in grocery stores in the 1940s, she read an advertisement offering $5,000 for the best slogan.

The producers wanted a rhyme beginning with “Carnation Milk is best of all."

She thought to herself, I know everything there is to know about milk and dairy farms. I can do this! She sent in her entry, and several weeks later, a black car pulled up in front of her house.

A man got out, knocked on her door and said, “Ma'am, the president of Carnation Milk absolutely LOVED your entry. So much, in fact, that we are here to award you $1,000 even though we will not be able to use it for our advertisements!"

He did, however, have one printed up to hang on his office wall.

Here it is:

True story!


 
Top