Especially for R2D2...
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—In a new plan designed to combat vaccine hesitancy, President Biden said that he was considering an executive order banning all covid vaccines.
The order would make it illegal to obtain a vaccine except in certain cases and, even then, only after a thorough background check and waiting period.
“We must eliminate the scourge of vaccination once and for all,” Biden said. “Enough is enough.”
News of an impending vaccine ban sent lines at previously deserted vaccination centers snaking around the block, according to reports.
Representative Marjorie Taylor Greene took to the floor of the House to excoriate the ban, calling it a “classic case of government overreach that shows the fingerprints of George Soros and the Rothschilds.”
“First, they came for my vaccines,” she warned.
They said if Trump said breathing is good for you, the Dems would have stopped breathing!!
The really sad thing is, it'd probably work...
Hillbilly Moms Letter
Dear Son, I’m writing this slow ’cause I know you can’t read fast.
We don’t live where we did when you left.
Your dad read in the paper that most accidents happen within twenty miles of home, so we moved.
Won’t be able to send you the address as the last Arkansas family that lived here took the numbers with them for their house, so they wouldn’t have to change their address.
This place has a washing machine. The first day I put four shirts in it, pulled the chain and haven’t seen ’em since.
It only rained twice this week, three days the first time and four days the second time.
The coat you wanted me to send to you, Aunt Sue said it would be a little too heavy to send in the mail with them heavy buttons, so we cut them off and put them in the pockets.
We got a bill from the funeral home, and it said if we didn’t make the final payment on Grandma’s funeral bill, up she comes.
About your sister, she had a baby this morning. I haven’t found out whether if it is a boy or girls so dont know if you are an Aunt or Uncle???
Your Uncle John fell in the whiskey vat. Some men tried to get him out, but he fought them off playfully, so he drowned.
We cremated him and he burned for three days.
Three of your friends went off the bridge in a pickup.
One was driving and the other two were in the back. The driver got out. He rolled down the window and swam to safety.
The other 2 drowned. They couldn’t get the tailgate down.
Not much more news this time.
Nothing much happened. If you don’t get this letter, please let me know and I will send another one.
74 Years Ago .
A little old lady from Geringong had worked in and around her family dairy farms since she was old enough to walk, with hours of hard work and little compensation.
When canned Carnation Milk became available in grocery stores in the 1940s, she read an advertisement offering $5,000 for the best slogan.
The producers wanted a rhyme beginning with “Carnation Milk is best of all."
She thought to herself, I know everything there is to know about milk and dairy farms. I can do this! She sent in her entry, and several weeks later, a black car pulled up in front of her house.
A man got out, knocked on her door and said, “Ma'am, the president of Carnation Milk absolutely LOVED your entry. So much, in fact, that we are here to award you $1,000 even though we will not be able to use it for our advertisements!"
He did, however, have one printed up to hang on his office wall.
Here it is: